So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
