Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
