I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize