We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
