is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
BRING THE BAGELS
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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