two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
