If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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