He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
