You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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