OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
