you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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