This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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