out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
foreskin is a definite game changer
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
