I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
