your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
