just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
