Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
