You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
