Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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