Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
