Grow some girl-balls and come out already
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
