I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
