I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
