it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
