I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
