I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
