i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
