At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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