There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
