My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
