I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
