Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
