is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize