i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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