I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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