I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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