I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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