You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
