i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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