I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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