your room smells of hookers.
And success
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
