my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
