drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize