When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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