Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
