Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
