barbara walters just said penis...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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