Come see our sink grown plant.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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