id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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