and you said cock pushups were impossible
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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