therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
