Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
