are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
