I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry about my life...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
