That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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