how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
